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Hollow City
By shades_of_mediocrity
Created 05/20/2007 - 1:09pm

  • Poems by Genre
  • Brittle
  • City
  • deities
  • desert
  • elephant
  • hollow
  • Hollow City
  • roads
  • Sun

Let the silver blossom fade from its cracked pedestal
And fall to countless crystal shards,
The alabaster elephants so wrinkled wander
Through the dreamless bleak mayhem,
And the chained eagle cry as she glides over the burning viridian sun,
To stay in realms greater than this doomed dominion.

And let our holy blood flow through the stone walled roads
Down to the parched river where our mighty nectar mingles
With leaping, haunted currents
Who cajole and jest,
And wonder what we have done to earn our unrest.

It is time to raise our brittle hands
And lift ourselves from these wrathful sands
And turn our vast domed heads to all who
Dare to look upon our secret shame
And forget to speak our holiest of names.

From the shadows so few shall cross
To the sunlight that burns through our crimson skies,
It is time to raise our flashing eyes
And to unseal pallid, golden lips
To sing of our undying glory
While we meander silent through ancient chasms, ah --
To revel in this world of hollow stone.

But now we are alone.

(EMW - 04.21.06)

Average vote based on 3 reviews.
9.3
out of 10
Your Comment and Rating
8
out of 10
Good work

Very good work, I enjoyed it.


by [1] on Mon, 11/05/2007 - 8:59am
User Comment and Ratings
8
out of 10
Good work

Very good work, I enjoyed it.


by [1] on Mon, 11/05/2007 - 8:59am

10
out of 10
Giving this one a rating of 10.

The imagery in this poem is really spectacular. I begin to envision in my mind what a "hollow" city would really look, and feel like too.

Quote:

silver blossom fade... alabaster elephants so wrinkled wander... dreamless bleak mayhem... chained eagle cry... burning viridian sun... "doomed dominion

These are just a few of the phrases that really sum up this poem well within the first stanza.

Quote:

And let our holy blood flow through the stone walled roads
Down to the parched river where our mighty nectar mingles
With leaping, haunted currents
Who cajole and jest,
And wonder what we have done to earn our unrest.

I wonder who is actually experiencing this "unrest"? Is it the citizens of the city?

Quote:

It is time to raise our brittle hands

/imagines brittle hands.

Quote:

From the shadows so few shall cross

I love this line.

Quote:

It is time to raise our flashing eyes

I love this line too.

Quote:

To sing of our undying glory
While we meander silent through ancient chasms, ah --
To revel in this world of hollow stone.

But now we are alone.

Excellent, man! Thanks for the great thought-invoking read. Please post more of your work if you get the chance. I want to read more to see what it's like.


by loveacrossborders [2] on Mon, 05/21/2007 - 10:24am

10
out of 10

A bit dark... but I like it!


by soulajax [3] on Mon, 05/21/2007 - 10:24am
Brittle [4] City [5] deities [6] desert [7] elephant [8] hollow [9] Hollow City [10] roads [11] Sun [12]
Login [13] or register [14] to tag items

Source URL: http://www.loveacrossborders.com/hollow-city

Links:
[1] http://www.loveacrossborders.com/user/0
[2] http://www.loveacrossborders.com/users/loveacrossborders
[3] http://www.loveacrossborders.com/users/soulajax
[4] http://www.loveacrossborders.com/community-tags/brittle
[5] http://www.loveacrossborders.com/community-tags/city
[6] http://www.loveacrossborders.com/community-tags/deities
[7] http://www.loveacrossborders.com/community-tags/desert
[8] http://www.loveacrossborders.com/community-tags/elephant
[9] http://www.loveacrossborders.com/community-tags/hollow
[10] http://www.loveacrossborders.com/community-tags/hollow-city
[11] http://www.loveacrossborders.com/community-tags/roads
[12] http://www.loveacrossborders.com/community-tags/sun
[13] http://www.loveacrossborders.com/user/login?destination=print/251
[14] http://www.loveacrossborders.com/user/register?destination=print/251