Reasons that I am unsure of compel me to write and so I do. Life is for me a game of survival. For I only exist for one simple reason…to survive. My life can easily be compared to a journey across vast oceans and seas. Storms would bring trials and tribulations, but always before there is the calm, a chance to gather the courage to face what will soon be upon you. The trashing of waves is comparable to making decisions, testing my will for survival. Do I abandon ship or ride the storm out, only knowing that there is always another storm not far off.

Smooth seas create the opportunity to stop for a moment and take pleasure in the simplest of things: a sunset, the sweet smell of the sea, life of others around you, and delight in just pausing. This is where I am at right now in my life, often finding myself lost in thoughts that compel me to write. At times I am even compelled to begin to write my memoirs, but fall short of doing so. Perhaps the idea of "who really wants to hear about my life both tragic and happy" keeps me from doing so. There is an unseen force that pulls me away like a strong persistent wind keeping me from reaching the point where I can sit down and just write.

Surviving right now seems to be all I can do. Rearing three strong willed children who are as unique and one of a kind as one can be seems to take me to the point of exhaustion. Yet, everyday I find strength I never knew existed within in me to rise and continue on with a smile. Many who know me ask "How do you do it every day" and as a smile appears on my weary face I reply by simply saying "If I knew how I did it every day, I would no longer do it and so it is one of those questions that deserves no answer."

Rearing children is not the only daily trial I face. For each day I get up to embark on assisting in educating other children who are unique in their own right. My job will never make me a wealthy woman in society's eyes. As for my heart, I am enriched daily by the simple successes that I get to watch and help guide, for these children have fallen victim more times then one would or ever needs to experience in a life time.

 I am connected to these children because I was one of them. A forgotten soul tossed by vicious waves not knowing how to stay afloat, struggling to survive. I survived my childhood only to experience the struggles of staying afloat in adulthood. I pray for all those who struggle, may they find each other in an unforgiving world and hold one another up from drowning. Always remember that according to author Kennedy Fraser in her book called "Ornament and Silence" that drowning is not limited to water. You can drown through drugs, alcohol, self-pity, depression and many other ways. So if you see someone drowning and they reach out, don't hesitate to reach for

them and help them to fight to survive. 

             We cannot fight alone!